I wasn't expecting a message from her. Not now, at least. It's not my birthday yet, since that was/is the time that she usualy shows up, tells me she misses our talks/me and then she went/goes back away. But, a couple of days ago i've checked an e-mail adress that i don't oftenly do. That message, although meaning really nothing else than that she misses me, devastated me. Im in a downwards spiral. I've replied with a "i'm busy in july, but afterwards: see you soon". I think it's time for drastic measures.The kind that i either end up with her for good or i destroy anything for good. Might have to resort to physical violence. If i'm lucky and she has a boyfriend, might not need that and after some talks with him and her, she will stop. But i will give it one more shot. One more shot for happyness. Not that i'm not happy right now, i've got someone that loves me and cherishes me, but.... it's not IT for me, not by a longshot.\\
The end of this rambling/ranting/stupid emotional shit.
Laters.
No, no song this time.
