Mama unde esti, bate-ma de vrei dar vino sa ma iei!

Yesterday our little home, Earth has made another revolution movement around the sun for me. I've made "the beautiful" age of 25. Out of the sea of people i know and out of the some i have expected to come and drink a beer with me, none had shown up. I... was somehow surrounded by strangers. At some point, i was sitting there with 6 other people: one of them met her last evening, one i've met her 2 days ago, and the rest 4, i've went out/met them at university for a couple of times. But... they where there, they where there to say me a "happy birthday" that they will prolly won't realise how much it meant for me. And in the end, i'll quote one that was there "i had a lot of fun" and i did. I had a lot of fun dancing with that little blue eyed kiddow that i've met last nigh, i had a lot of fun taking her into my arms and dancing around with her. But i do know i was "helping" her, i was trying to make her feel more comfortable and trust herself and i managed it, at least a big part, and that, i think was one of the best things last night. I said i'll try to go slow and steady, though i might have "scared" her, but that's a totaly new realm for me, i never did slow and steady. I actualy don't know how to act, how to react, what to do next, or in the next second she was with me. And prolly it scares me that because of my training wheels, i will fuck it up, if there is anything to fuck up. As Connery used to say: such is life. I shall see, at some point.

The title of the topic is the chorus of one of the songs, of the band i had the PRIVILEGE to listen last night. I growed up with them, at some point and i had tremendous fun listening to the songs, scream, try to sing (since obviously i have no whatsoever voice) and jump/dance in the same time, while holding Alexandra in my arms and in not even a split second, in the entire night have i spent remembering something from the past. This is the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOFFl2F5I4k&feature=related i'd suggest listening to more than one, i find them good, very good actualy.

On the other end, some people just removed themselfes from the care list. It feels so damn good that i can just do that at the snap of my fingers, they deserve it.

Later edit: oh and yeah, i'll post next time about the wedding i've been to a month ago, the hypocrisy that surounded it and the one afterwards. An interesting story that it amuses me as much as it saddens me.

Brand new day

I have no ideea what i am doing, right now. I feel disoriented though, i know it's better than how i've been in the last year, untill 3 weeks ago. It's hard being me, actualy it's kinda hard letting go what i've tryed to build in the last 3-4 years, the personality i've worked so hard on. Guess it's something natural, it's hard to let go on what you've worked hard to achieve. Although i still find myself helping people randomly around, i don't feel the same, and i wonder how much it will last, since my good samaritean complex just took another hit these days.
One of the shows i started to watch this fall, Hellcats, had a nice song at the end of it, hence the title of this post. It was Sting's Brand new day, or better said a cover of it with some tweaks here and there, and i've been obsesing like hell over it, most likely because it sums up a lot of the things i'm going thru right now. Here is the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cA46ZNjrzeY&ob=av2e, i hope you enjoy it as much as i do.
Why is it a brand new day? Well maybe because my(the) new and last university year started or maybe because i've chosen that after this year i'll leave the country most likely for good. I've got so many great memoryes here, but they all tend to end up in sorrow and misery. I think i'm tired enough of the fact that more than half my life i've been miserable, i think i want more happyness in it.